Resolving conflict, the biblical way!

‘…speaking the truth in love, we will…grow up…’ Ephesians 4:15

There are two ways to tell the truth. The ‘give them a piece of your mind’ style, which only drives the wedge deeper or the Bible way: ‘Speaking the truth in love,’ which resolves conflict and strengthens relationships. Suppose a couple is fighting because he’s habitually late. How can she speak ‘the truth in love’ and get her message heard? Here’s a five-step process that’s effective in marriage, friendship or work. She could say to him:

1) ‘I feel frustrated.’ No blame, no attack; just an honest expression of her own emotion

2) ‘When you are late.’ No judging, name-calling or labelling; just a concrete description of his action

3) ‘It seems to say to me that my time is not really important to you.’ No moralising; just honestly sharing her feelings

4) ‘Please try to be on time, or call and let me know when you’ll be here.’ Instead of focusing on past actions he can’t change, she’s telling him what she’d like him to do differently next time

5) ‘Would you be willing to do that for me?’ No demanding or taking for granted; just asking for consideration and cooperation. When he agrees, they have a ‘contract.’ She thanks him sincerely and rewards every effort he makes to keep his word. She has effectively realigned the couple by making him her ally, not her enemy, and redefined the focus as a shared one, not something she ‘does to him!’ The Bible says we can ‘walk together’ when we have ‘agreed’ to do so (Amos 3:3 NIV).
http://www.ucb.co.uk/word_for_today

this lesson is so for me today at work…
till next time,
easy does it

…and the hooded guest paid our home a visit…

…news of how a car run over her came through the phone yesterday evening, Dad’s voice audibly broken with the revelation and responsibility of relaying the sad news…

I was driven home immediately(thank you Rugaju), crept up to where she lay, between labored breaths…she tried to reassure me, her eyes seemed to say ‘it’ll be okay’.
But I was not convinced, up in my arms she went…and like a bullion driver, whisked her off to the vet.

A short moment of relief as I watched her pace up and down the mini length of the vet’s waiting room(his instructions…wanting to establish that nothing was broken).
She looked convincing,she looked fine but in pain, she looked like she’d be up and running all over the house, despite the gasps of audibly pained breaths.
A quick body frisking occurred and the vet conclude that she’d be fine, and that soft tissue injuries were all she’d sustained. I should have asked about the hemorrhaging, I should have…

News about her having passed came through the phone today, 10: 16am

I miss you Gigi, I loved you even more
till next time,
easy does it